dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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