i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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