did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
