Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
