I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
