i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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