We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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