so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
