If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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