Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
