I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
