i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
