a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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