And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
