Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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