I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
i think im in europe. pls send help
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
