you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
