I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
