dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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