Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
