Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Dignity is for republicans.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
