you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
