Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
