I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
