Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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