and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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