i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
