Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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