Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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