Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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