so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
