apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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