I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
