The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
