Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
