I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
