In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
