OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
