but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
