i will never coherently bang her
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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