You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
