i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
