Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Porn is love you can see.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
