You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Randomize
