I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
