i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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