So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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