Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
