It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Someone signed my nipple.
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