I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
